Why Home
By Month
Musings
Links To Other Great BLOGS!
Click the Box to Email Me!

--------------------------------- Tell Others About This Site!

Subscribe / Unsubscribe

DaRk AnGel : Why Home : December 2005 : Love like God Does......

Love like God Does......

It was a freak day here today.. 80 degrees and sunny.. How strange? November is usually the beginning of our chilly season. I do enjoy the day.. It was so very nice.. So easy to find much to be thankful for when the weather is welcoming and warm..

I have continued on digging the grave.. It is a solemn and depressing affair. But on that has to be done. This time though it is going to be five feet deep. And through the red clay, it is taking time. Usually I dig to three feet.

I have my dogs buried in the back in a row. It is a place I stop at often and speak to them. If I could only find a woman that loves like a dog..

When I got married, I believed in the commitment.. I believed in love. And I do believe that love can transcend this life time. Because of that I am convinced that my next phase when I leave this physical body behind will be time spent with everyone and everything I have ever loved. SO to me death is not frightening, not final, just a portal..

Too many people today say the words of commitment, yet are only speaking. Too many people are selfish, with the me first mentality. Too many people have every excuse in the book for not being the best that they can be, to themselves and to others. Our greatest gifts are ignored and squandered; thinking and feeling. Television has become the parents to our children, and the distraction we need to not think or feel or grow.

It is sad..

What if everyone that loved - loved like a dog? There would be no divorce, for forgiveness would come naturally. A dog is joyous every time they see you come in the door. A dog is loving and protective, dedicated to those they love. More than that, dogs are sensitive to emotions. When I am depressed, mine sense it and are always near. Dogs do not quit or leave, no matter how bad the home life. Their needs are simple, but the returns given are great..

This is a special grave. This is Destiny's - my favorite who has been with me through so much as I have been there for her with her abnormal problems. I will miss her terribly until we are again reunited. And I know the pain I will have to endure when she breathes her last.

Destiny will be buried deeply. Then on top of her good dirt, not clay will become the bed for a Giant Red Wood tree. Something not grown here in Louisiana. Something that if I can get it to survive and grow will be both her legacy and mine. And that tree will in turn use her to grow tall and strong and she will be in every leaf, every inch, every scallop of bark.

That tree will shade all the others from the hot Louisiana summers. It will be a memorial of love.

If I were not as I am, I could delay this. But I want to dig it myself.. And to do that it has to be done in advance. I cannot work as hard or as fast as I used to. When her time comes, I do not want her laying here awaiting burial. It would be so much harder..

Today as I dug, she walked up and surprised me. That was the farthest I have seen her walk in a long time. She looked at the hole, and then up at me.. I watched her breath and then thanked god for that breath.. I have been so very lucky and had her much longer than a Dane is supposed to live..

I don't dwell on what will come. I fear it is coming very soon.. I just try to let her know each and every time I am near her that she is special and very loved. I pray she has no concept of death. Or of aging.

Her heart has always been strong and loving.. She has been my lighthouse through some dark and stormy periods. I have always felt that without her, and the other dogs, that I would have ended my life many years ago. For when there was none other, she gave me reason and purpose..

I cannot begin to describe the love I feel for my dogs. I cannot begin to share the lessons I have learned because of them. It is apropos that their name backwards is what it is. Surely they love like god does.