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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : January 2006 : Rants and Remnants of Anesthesia

Rants and Remnants of Anesthesia

Warning the following may make absolutely no sense.. I am still under the affects of the anesthesia from my day surgery. So I know not all that I write. The stuff they use is really cool. It knocks you out, but you are still awake, just with no remembrance of anything that happens. Then when you do start remembering, and coming out of it, the residual effect is there is a few hours where the pain, that I am married to, is not there. Kind of like a blessed break from the nagging.

The dogs especially like this day too! See when you have dogs that are that big, - well they have never had human food. It is the only way that you do not have drooling beggars that are big enough to clear a table without ever leaving four legs. There is one exception. Whenever I go to BK they eat what I eat. So they know that smell. The minute I come in I am mugged and dutifully I unwrap their Whopper Juniors and give each one to watch it disappear in one mouthful sans chewing. Then I go and hide and eat mine. (I do not consider fast food human food. So my rule is intact!)

Anyways - I go every three months for shots in my neck and my lower back. I get some relief some of the time. And I won't know when or if until the next three days have passed.

I sleep then for three or four hours, just enough to ruin my nights sleep, then come and check the status of the world and the internet. You know for someone who feels pretty much alone in this world, I sure have a lot of people that know me out here.. And some seem to know too much about me! On an average I receive 15000 emails a week. I use several Spam tools and luckily I only have to go through a few hundred a day to get to the 5 or so that are things I even care about.

But who let all the secrets out about my life? Just who, told everyone how poorly endowed I am. Every day I get a lot from people that want to enlarge my penis. Well it is not in use right now, so I get no complaints, thank you! When and if it has more a function than waste removal, and if there is an interested party that does complain I will then check into it. In the meantime will you please quit reminding me of my shortcomings!

I wonder if my ex GF put me on those lists and the next ones too!

In-between each one to enlarge my privates is one to um, help me, get more mileage out of them. Viagra, Cialis, Generic Viaga and Cialis, and many herbal things that claim to do what Viagra and Cialis do! Truth is I do have some Cialis here and was prescribed it after I talked to my roofer. He is about my age, and told me it makes him feel like a 16 year old kid again and each weekend, his girlfriend is one happy missus! Three to four times a day is what he claims. (So I lied to my doctor and have the stuff. Now all I need is a willing volunteer er, victim. I am not foolish enough to try it without one, and maybe mess up my typing utensils. Any volunteers please enquire within.)

Greg, my roofer is a good ole boy. Someone that I relate to not at all. But for some reason he sees us as kindred spirits and whenever he is here finds himself confessing all his sins. He claims I am easy to talk to. I claim he just likes the free beer and to rub it in my face that I am alone! Actually he has shocked me the most with some of the things he has told me about. Much more than any of the inmates I write, I at least expect it from them. Oh and if you are ever in Shreveport, and you meet a nice old guy named Gregg who has a red vette, DO NOT LET HIM TAKE PICTURES OF YOU NUDE against the car. I have seen the album and it is growing!

Of course I get hundreds a week from the people that want to refinance my house. They are a day late.. I did that last year - so thanks but no thanks..

I also get a lot of emails from younger women that want to hook up with me. They send me to a web site and give me their secret password. There I get a glimpse of them - almost… All I need to do is sign up for this free service that verifies my age by the simple fact that I have a credit card. And along with free service I get a free trial to another service for three days and if I do not cancel that in three days I am billed 29.99 a month, non refundable each month. Who reads the fine print? The sole purpose of these vixens is to get you onto that 29.99 site, even if only for a month. They make their money on commission! It is almost impossible to complete the cancellation requirements in three days.

Then there are the emails that want me to be a mystery shopper, or to answer surveys. Each guaranteeing me income and free goods. All I need to do is purchase their secret lists of all the real companies that are legit. Not one of the many that are not. So I would spend 50.00 to get a list that at best, I might get a couple of surveys a year to fill out for a dollar each.

There are many many many more types of these paperless pieces of trash going around. The other biggie I get is one that preys on people's loneliness - Our want to find love and happiness. Most of the major sites out there are legitimate. And there are some free dating sites on the internet. Okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com, and webdate.com are totally free of charge. I have subscribed to yahoo.com and match.com and others and in the end I have gotten more responses from the free sites. But be warned there are some sites out there that are not reputable. One I was a member of for a month, actually had the computer generating emails to me from interested parties. The give away there was that each member was beautiful, model caliber. And why would 22 year olds show any interest in me. Of course the parties did not exist, simply models pictures and hired teenagers replying to old lonely people.

So after I check the delete box next to all of these I may have five left. Ones that are either from friends I write to on line, or news feeds that I subscribe to.

It is a shame that so many people know so much about me. The diet emails have lessened, I guess since I dropped forty pounds that they feel I am no longer an ideal candidate for the quick fix of surgery. Instead now I get a lot from Canada, not only the online drugs, but $299 laser eye surgery clinics. Wow the Wal Mart of Optics. Seems this chain is all over the place up there charging one tenth what the doctors here do.

I admit I have looked at those. My best features are my deep set blue eyes. I mesmerize myself when I look in the mirror. And even I can get $600 bucks together. Oh to be free of glasses.. Would it buy me love?

One of those garbage emails got my attention a while back. Pheromones. I hope that is spelled write. The chemical that animals use to entice?Arouse?Call? the other creatures to let them know they are ready to procreate. Ok so yeah there was this one ad, it had 6 - 1/8 ounce samples of things called, Leather, Ocean, Romance…Different essences laced with the invisible irresistible attractant. It was only $12 plus 18.95 for shipping. It was a weak lonely moment..

Well today was the first day that I would ever have someone close enough to me to see if it worked. So I randomly grabbed one, Leather, and applied it. It really did smell a bit like new leather shoes. Not a bad smell, yet not one that I would think would be pleasing for the other sex.

I waited for a reaction from the first nurse, the one that put the IV in before I go into the twilight zone. She missed the vein several times, and finally had to change arms. Now my veins are like garden hoses.. But she eventually got me hooked up. Nothing there.. The other nurse came by and chatted a bit. I am a regular ya'know. Nothing there either. I am getting despondent. Finally it is my for the injections, and the nurses from the back come out. There is the regular lady but a new nurse as well. And wouldn't you know it on one of four, it worked! This new nurse was so kind, so attentive. WOW talk about the premium service. I was the last surgery of the day, and usually when I awaken there is just one person there who stays around until I am gone. But today the new nurse was there as well - Holding my hand, getting me cokes, wiping my chin. I am convinced it was the pheromones! In fact I will say that they work!

Maybe next time I should try Romance, or Ocean. Leather I threw away the minute I got home. It worked, but not exactly as I expected. As the van came to get me and I was escorted out I was passed a number and asked to call. What more could a fella ask for? Especially one my age, and in my physical state?

I am really not that picky, but there is one thing I could ask for. I could ask that the person not be named Paul. I am by no means homophobic, and have always had friends of all preferences. It is just not a choice that I could make for me. Something

Ninety more days before I go back to the surgical center again.. Hopefully their high turnover will continue. And Paul will be somewhere with someone that he loves.

That is what I want for all of us, me too!!

Finally I get to my MySpace home only to find the worst thing has happened.. "The RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING." Literally. I get an email from some lady named Anya with poor English skills who is 21 that wishes me to write to her off of MySpace. Beware lonely of the lonely, some of these foreign ladies are not.

See one site that I was on for a while, well I got 10-20 emails a day from young Russian ladies. So many in fact that I was frustrated with it all. So I admit, the redneck came out in me. I wrote everyone of them a question. Something crass and ill mannered, I admit it. And boy was I surprised at that response.

The next day I got several emails from people who spoke perfect English, and who were well rounded in the art of cursing one out. Many of the colloquialisms were ones only ever used by men. Seems like all of these cute young Russians were men hustling other men out of money.

Hopes for the end to the pain of being alone, is a thing that cripples more people. Sadder still are the heartless vetches that see only dollar signs in the pain of others.

And they did label trash email correctly. SPAM. In regards to the food based Spam, well I know no one that eats it, wants to buy it, or likes it. Same thing as all the junk email. Maybe if they charged people for advertising on the net, some of this would go away.The real way to make it go away is to never buy anything that is not from a web site you choose to go to.

Maybe then SPAM can become one of those unused words like the product itself.

This is the end to my rant tonight. I refuse to reread or edit it.. I might find myself buying something else I do not need.

And the only real way to defeat spam is to use an email filter with white pages. That means you enter who you will accept mail from.

For my friends out there.. You know who you are… The ones that enter others names on mail lists.. You have me all wrong. I do not need Cialis or a Penis enlargement.

A lady one asked me who I expected to please with "that little thing."

"Me I" replied candidly.

And so the truth is told.