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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : January 2006 : Internet IMPOSTERSand LESSER IMPOSTERS

Internet IMPOSTERSand LESSER IMPOSTERS

It has happened again.

Another victim fallen to the IMPOSTERS on the internet. I mentioned this to a MySpace friend last night in an email. Then today got an email from someone I had not heard from in a while, one where the pain oozed from each and every word. I was almost in tears by the end of it. I never wrote back, instead I called. And I hate phones. But it was needed. An hour later and I knew it was the work of the IMPOSTERS.

This is a name I have given to a very sick element out here. Ones that prey on the lonely to simply feed their ego. As a vampire sucks blood they do emotions. I guess it is easy to hurt someone you do not see the hurt in their eyes or on their face. Maybe it makes it all right in their minds. To suck emotion for ego gratification is something that is unforgivable to me. People get hurt enough in the quest for love. This additional booby trap is not needed or called for.

I do not know if these people are capable of a emotional relationship. Maybe the truth is they are married. The truth is definitely something that is alien to them. Even if they offered up an explanation, how do you trust anything from someone who has lied and crushed your heart with the lies? Even the explanation is suspect.

Years ago I was a victim. When I was smug and smart and thinking it was only men that did it. I have to give this person credit. She had me snowed, and in the end I did not know if she even looked like she said she did. Were the faded pictures she sent really her? It all started innocently enough. In a chat room or email is usually the beginning. I used to go to this one chat room that is now defunct. I loved to chat to groups and would waste hours there. I met many good people online and we decided to have a meeting. People flew from all over the world to Florida and there we met for the weekend. And it was shocking to meet these people. All were good people, not a one of them was a disappointment. But the simple fact was that none of them were as they were online. Maybe it was my interpretation of their personae that was flawed. In some cases though the words online definitely did not fit the person in real life. The toughest were weak and the silent tough.

The one person who I really wanted to meet that weekend, although near to the location of the event never showed up.

Her screen name was Georgia Peach. And she was someone that always cracked me up. She was not a regular, but when she was around, I always made it appoint to say hello. One day she whispered to me! I whispered back. That was the beginning of it. After a bit, we exchanged emails (mollymetoo@msn.com Now defunct). And long emails were exchanged. We were both in the same industry, we both liked the same music, the same food, and we both made each other laugh. I am pretty shy actually. I do not make moves quickly if at all. So it was she that suggested we exchange phone numbers. I gave her my home, she gave me her cell.

I was immediately enchanted. Her voice, with that soft Georgia accent was beautiful. Soon the conversations included sexual innuendos. Then emotional. I was not in love. But I was definitely interested. And the emotions grew as little gifts and cards began to arrive. I can say that I cared a lot about her as a person. I was beginning to envision our lives as one. So I asked when we could meet. I could get to Columbus Georgia or she could come here. Either way she wanted it. But she was always busy and could not seem to be able to get a day off. I foolishly was missing all the signs.

The signs in retrospect -
- Cell phone. Would always say that is all she used and it connected to her home phone. At home she was always online, and being so needed her land line.
- I rarely received an answer when I called. Only when she was at work. Usually it was her calling when she was ready.
- She gave me a P.O.Box to mail my little gifts to.
- She was always too busy to meet in real life.

I do not remember how or why but she told me she worked at AFLAC. When her birthday approached I decided to do something outside of the box. I sent 6 dozen red roses to the Data center. I expected a call thanking me, being touched, or something equally nice. What I got was an angry woman, who had refused the flowers. Another sign in that she was upset without reason that I had sent them to her work.

That sign, got my attention. All of a sudden I had this sick feeling in my stomach. Was this woman playing me? I began to push for a meeting. She started distancing. The number of calls lessened. Then a critical mistake was made. She called from a phone - A land line. And the caller ID gave me a name and a number. Not Molly Stephens, the name on her cell phone. When I searched I found out that it belonged to a married couple.

Molly was a phony. I was crushed. Months wasted and the emotions and dreams gone in an instant. I was hurt but not as much as others have cruelly been.

The first time I even thought there might be a type out there hurting people is when a friend of mine who was also involved in an email relationship that evolved to a phone one was suddenly devastated. I love yous were being exchanged, dreams created, sex over electronics, and the lady, my friend was eager to make this happen in real life. She had kept me informed of all of this over the months it transpired.

Finally a date was set to meet. She was going to meet up for a romantic weekend that would consummate the romance. A few days before the event was to occur she received an email that stated he had just found out he was sick and dying. He did not want to be in touch with her again in order to spare her the pain of having to watch the cancer destroy him. She never heard from him again. His phone was disconnected and his email address deleted. She was a type that would not have cared. She like I believe that life is about learning to love. And loving is from the heart. She, as I feel, that anytime with someone you love, is better than none. She was miserable in the thought of life without him, as he died an agonizing death.

When she told me about the email that declared his illness I knew it was a lie. Too fast, too coincidental to the date, and I decided to investigate. She shared that he had a favorite slogan, an odd one that he used often. I did a deep search of the net with some tools I have and hit upon those words over and over again. All tied to love and romance and always ending in devastation.

I shared this and my friend was able to turn some of her pain into anger. I am sure the healing was quicker with the knowledge that she and been duped, not that the love of her life was dying and she was helpless to console him. It was then that I called him an IMPOSTER. That is how I got the name for this class of people.

IMPOSTERS are simply out to feel attractive and wanted regardless of the cost. They cannot go through with the real relationship for whatever reason. Their whole intent is to get people to love them on the internet. If they could find someone that would love them forever without meeting them I am sure that they would continue on with the relationship forever. I run into this all the time now. Broken hearts by people that suddenly leave or die, just when the moment of meeting was approaching. What a callous heart it is that culls love to feel good about themselves. They leave too many unanswered questions in their wake. And those are the questions that can haunt one for a life time. I know it. I still wonder about Molly. I still would like to see her face to face one day. Just to see if she even looked like she claimed. Just to ask her why she needed this.

There are the LESSER IMPOSTERS as well. These people try to snare love, with bait and switch tactics. A rampant example of this can be seen on Yahoo personals over and over and over, again. You view someone's profile picture and they are attractive. Then behind the profile pictures, they begin to get a little less attractive until you get to the current day picture. Twenty years older and 50 lbs heavier. Or there are the people that utilize glamour shot type pictures. I want to see a picture of how someone looks today and everyday. Not that one day when they have had a make over and wearing the finest clothes they own. That is not reality.

The minute I see certain signs now, like the bait and switch above, or someone that is not quite correct in their weight, I run. If one cannot be upfront about the simple things in life - how could I ever expect them to be real about all else in their life? To me it is deception. Period. I want to meet who you are not who you were or who you think you are.

I always put out several pictures of me. I am a chameleon and change appearances as much as the seasons do. I am old, I have wrinkles, I have excess weight, I am just me. These are not the things that should make or break a relationship. But honesty is. And honesty is not something I want; it is something I demand from those in my life in any capacity. (Jokes and gifts and new hairdos are allowable to be lied about.)

Anything else is deception.

I want to know people that accept who they are today, what they look like today, and who want to give and receive. Not only love, but in any capacity. For anything else, I have too little time left to waste. Give me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Simple.

If someone does, then nothing can go wrong, and chances of pain or hurt are minimized.

I hope anyone reading this never falls prey to an IMPOSTER and beware of the LESSER IMPOSTERS. It's a painful trip into loves arms.