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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : February 2006 : The Little Girl

The Little Girl

I was sitting outside watching the birds today after blistering my palm so badly that I had to cease my activities. And no it had nothing to do with sex. I was preparing the clay out front so I can put down a level base plate on which to build the flower bed.

My camera was on my lap, and I was hoping to finally get a great shot of a Cedar Waxwing. I have several good ones that I have gotten this year, but not a great one. And with migration being around the corner, days were ticking down.

Anyway as I was sitting there half watching the birds half day dreaming, out of the corner of my eye I saw some movement, at the back corner of the shop. Two dogs were inside, and Destiny was asleep on the patio. She neither heard nor saw anything. I watched quietly waiting to see if maybe it was just the wind, or if there was something or someone back there.

A minute later a child stepped out from behind my shop and walked slowly towards the fence on my south side. She was a hundred feet or so away from me, and she was walking with her head down, her chin on her chest. She reeked of sadness, or maybe a child that had got caught doing something wrong. I rose and started walking towards her.

She could not have been more than five years old. She had blonde hair down to her shoulders, and was wearing a pretty light blue dress with socks and nice shoes on. She had what appeared to be a small purse dangling from a chain in her hand furthest away from me.

I remember thinking that I was so glad that just an hour before I had scoured the yard removing the piles of my children. I was worried about her shoes getting dirty. So strange what runs through my mind at times.

I could not tell if she knew I was there or not. Maybe she was trying to act like I wasn't. I did know that she would not be able to exit my yard. The fencing is six feet not the standard four. The only way out for her was with me through the locked gate or through the house. I wondered how in the hell did she get in there in the first place? Had she climbed the chain link fence and not gotten dirty or disheveled?

"Young girl" I called out as our paths converged. She seemed to not hear me. "Miss" I called again but louder and with authority. She stopped and looked over to me. The sun was behind her back and with the glare I could not see her face. I slowed down and stopped ten feet or so away from her. I did not want her to feel threatened by me. I wished I could have seen her face to judge her reaction was. Was she afraid? Angry? She then shifted her head back to her chin on her chest looking down.

"Where are you going?" I asked her. She said nothing. I began to side step to get the sun to her right. As I did I could see that she was not following my movement. Her head was stationary and she was staring transfixed at the ground.

"Are you ok?" I asked. Maybe she could not talk? Maybe she could not hear? Was she autistic? Maybe she did not speak English.

Finally I was at a spot where I could see her face. It was then that I saw the silent tears rolling down her face. There is nothing worse in the world to me, than a woman's tears. I am ripped to the core by them. I believe that probably is linked directly back to my early youth, seeing my mother cry so often due to my fathers abuse of her and her children. When a woman cries, I go to mush inside. I will do anything to stop the tears. It is a secret that I usually do not share as I have had it used against me in the past.

I wanted to grab this girl and hold her.. I wanted to make it right. I wanted to comfort and console her. I wanted to see her smile and be happy. She reminded me of the daughter that I never had. Yet I kept my distance for both of our sakes. I did not want her afraid and I surely did not want to risk a police car passing looking for her and seeing her in a fenced in area in the arms of an old man.

"Can you hear me? Can you understand what I am saying?" I asked her. She did not respond at all. She did not look up, or even blink. She stared at the brown dead grass and tears continued to slowly fall down her cheek.

My mind raced. What in the world should I do? Where did she come from? Our neighborhood is mostly older people. There are so few children and I know them all on sight. They walk past my house to and from the point where the school bus stops. My thought was to go inside and get my cell phone. Then call my neighbor Carl and also the police.

"Look over there, I pointed towards the house. There is a chair there, why don't you go and sit in it and I will get some help."

Nothing. She stood motionless. The wind tossed her hair around, she breathed, besides those motions she could have been a mannequin.

"Listen, you cannot get out of this yard without my unlocking the gate. I am going to go inside and get the key, and a telephone. Do you want something to drink? Something to eat?" Again nothing.

I started towards the house. Every few steps I would look back to see if she moved and that she was ok. She stood silently still.

"Christ why does the strange shit always happen to me?", I mumbled to myself. I was supposed to simply be watching the birds and hoping for a decent shot of a Cedar Waxwing. Instead I had this small girl who somehow got into my yard and was simply standing there unresponsive. Then it struck me how silent everything was. No bird noises at all. And she cried without making any noise. Not even the sniffling of a runny nose that always accompanies tears of a child.

At the door I paused and looked again at her. She remained frozen. I stepped inside, grabbed my cell phone, got some paper towels for her to use as Kleenex and then grabbed a can of coke from the refrigerator. On the way back out I got the key to the gate from the drawer next to the back door.

As I opened the screen door and looked towards her I was horrified to see that Destiny had awoken and was heading right at her.

"Destiny - Come here.", I called. She paused and looked over her shoulder at me and then continued nearing the little girl. I was moving as fast as I could. I hated the fact that my body was what it was. I needed normal function.

"Destiny, STOP, COME HERE," I screamed in the voice that usually stops my dogs in their tracks. But now Destiny was more interested in investigating the intruder than she was in obeying me. She continued on acting like she did not hear. She continued forward.

All of a sudden the little girl looked up and her eyes were wide. Not with fear, but wide with wildness. From somewhere she had a knife in her hand. She reminded me of Linda Blair in The Exorcist when her head spun around. This was all too surreal.

"Oh Shit - OH shit shit shit.." I mumbled as I tried to move more quickly towards the two of them.

"Little girl. She will not hurt you, she is a friendly doggie. Put the knife down."

They always say that tragic things always appear to happen in slow motion - where seconds seemingly span hours. Such it was with the next occurrences.

Destiny was picking up speed, not running, but moving quickly. Her tail was not wagging. Her head was up and alert. I worried that at her age senility might step in and she could maul the little girl. Then…

My right foot dragged, I tripped. I began to fall. Damn cast was the first thought, protect the wrists was my second. I crossed my arms over my chest and prayed. I looked and saw the girl moving towards Destiny as I was nearing the ground. Her arm was raised with the knife in hand. Destiny was nearly within her reach. The little girls face was filled with death.

The ground met my chest. All of the breath in me was pushed out. My face slammed into the damp grass. My lip exploded and blood began to flow. The last thing I remember was the groan produced by all of my escaping air.

When I came to I was in the emergency room at Highland hospital. A nurse had her back towards me. My face and lip hurt. My head throbbed. My neck and back was frightenly numb. I struggled to wiggle my toes. Could I move my toes? My fingers? I could. Thank god…

"Miss" I called out weakly.

The nurse turned and said something like "welcome back".

"My Dog? The little Girl? Are they ok? What happened to them?"

The nurse looked puzzlingly at me. "Sir I do not know anything about all that." An ambulance brought you here, and your neighbor is outside. He might know."

"I need to see him."

"Not so fast" she said. "We are just about to stitch your lip after that you can see your friend."

A doctor came in just after that. I waited impatiently as he put in the seven stitches.

As he was finishing I asked him if I could go. I was told that they wanted to keep me in for the night. They were worried that I had a concussion, and would feel better if I spent the night in the hospital.

The nurse and the doctor left. Carl, my neighbor entered. He had a smile half crossing his lips. There was pity in his eyes.

"Carl what about Destiny? What about the little Girl? Are they ok?" I asked.

Carl looked at me obviously confused. "Destiny is fine.", he said. "As for a little girl, I saw no one else but you and Destiny in the yard. I went out to mow and happened to look across and saw you laying there. I called an ambulance, put Destiny in the pen, and here you are."

"Carl there was a little girl there. She was about to stab Destiny. Destiny would not listen to me, she kept advancing on that girl."

My words were met with a blank stare of confusion.

"Are you sure about there being a child there?", Carl asked.

"of course I am.", I replied.

"Well she was gone by the time I got over there," Carl said dismissingly.

I dressed and left the hospital against doctor's orders. Carl drove me home in silence. I know he was wondering if I had over done my pain meds or something. I just wanted to get home, see Destiny and try and figure this whole thing out.

Carl dropped me off and I was a bit rude in dismissing him. I did not want any company. I wanted answers.

I let Jezebel and Sera out. I knew if there was anyone on the property Sera would find them. I walked back to where the dog pen was. I opened the gate and Destiny came walking towards me, her stub of a tail shaking so hard it moved her whole back end from side to side. I looked her over and saw no signs of any injury. I sighed.

Jezebel followed me to the area where the little girl stood. I looked around for any signs of her. For a piece of her hair, the knife, any grass that lay over from her weight. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I then walked back to the shop and behind it, where I had first noticed movement. It was muddier there. But there was nothing to show that anybody had been back there for sometime.

I walked back to the house and fixed myself a stiff martini. The first sip reminded me I had a wounded lip. The ice and the gin both stung. I sat on the patio and gazed out over the yard.

After the drink, I came in, fed the dogs and here I sit now typing.

I hate the things in life that answers are not available for. Today is a day I will hate for a long long time it seems.