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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : April 2006 : Hidden Costs....

Hidden Costs....

Sometimes the rain just has to fall…

I am having one of those days. One where I feel empty inside and racked with depression. I am smart enough to know that seasons like the moods will always change. Yet it does not make the here and now any easier.

I have these physiological depressions. I am sure that most people do. Maybe it is a male PMS? But for no reason, out of the blue I find myself feeling squashed and beaten in my attempts to live. And there is nothing major really going on. Just life itself I guess.

I was thinking today about people that are Manic Depressives, or those that have chemical imbalances that cause them constant depressions. How can they possibly survive day after day like that? And those that do, those that manage to find some simple reason to continue on in this trek, well they are the bravest people in my book - True heroes in their own way and in their own lifetime.

SO much of this sickness, the depressions, all these things that never existed 40 years ago - I cannot help but wonder if they are not the results of our modernization. We invent new things, new medicines and the illnesses seem to keep pace. When I was a child eating disorders were not heard of, AIDS, as well as all these new mental diseases that have since become widely known.

Maybe it is a trade off in the great scheme of things. We learn to develop, use and refine plastics, but the trade off is in the process it generates some by product that makes us pay for the easier living. 100 years from now will we all be deformed mutants because of our advancements?

Asbestos was once the great invention. Now they find it poisons and kills. Is there a hidden cost for everything we gain? Tetracycline cured thousands but in the end deformed more.

Is there always a tail for every heads??

If so - maybe my depression today is the cost for a good weekend? One shared with someone becoming close to me. If so it is such a small price to pay.

Tomorrow the sun will rise again. Tomorrow all will be well again. These things are true for me. I wish they were for everybody.