Why Home
By Month
Musings
Links To Other Great BLOGS!
Click the Box to Email Me!

--------------------------------- Tell Others About This Site!

Subscribe / Unsubscribe

DaRk AnGel : Why Home : July 2006 : THe 10 Worst Gifts I Have Ever Received

THe 10 Worst Gifts I Have Ever Received

It is at night when I fight my demons.

And until this morning, I cannot remember when started going to bed at day break and arising at sunset. It is my way of avoiding people while I try to sort out the vile and phlegm that has take over my soul.

But last night I had had enough. I was ready to again try to live life as normal as I can. And that compared to the rest of the world is non comparable.

So today I did housework, yard work, fed the non existent birds, watered - all of the usual stuff that I need to do. And boy do I have a lot of catching up on all of the areas.

I, during my time in my abyss, had plenty of moments, statements, thoughts, ideas, idiocies come to mind to write about. Some of them thought provoking, some showing a little more about me than I ever would, and a lot of them bitter and aimed at the cause of a years long bout of suffering.

One of my many decisions is about moving. I have been saying am going to do it for years, well now I am. Go west old man, go west… But a big part of that and a bigger part for me probably than for you - is junk. I am a pack rat. So I have made a decision to start small, just one thing a day, then in time build up. In truth you should probably pull one of those 40 foot dumpsters up on my driveway and let me do my whole house in one fell swoop.

I think back to the days of my early 20's when all I owned I could fit in a duffle bag, and I could toss it on a bus and be gone in an hour. Why did it seem happier then? Easier then? It was.

So in trying to decide which of the things I would write about today a new one came along. Myspace is full of lists and tag things. Well here is my contribution. And if you wish to use it as a topic of yours then feel free to do so.

It all started when I had to decide what to throw away today. Now I am a man of multiple junk drawers, two garages full of stuff, and all sorts of things I forgot I had. And as I looked through the drawers that I had not looked trough in some time, it hit me, - that in time I had gotten some HORRIBLE GIFTS. Things either akin to junk or things that truly showed how little people knew me.

So today I decided to write about the 10 WORST ITEMS I HAVE EVER RECEIVED AS A GIFT.

I am sure you can come up with yours. And unfortunately a couple of mine will be read by people who gave them to me. Sorry but if you know me you love me for my honesty.

So as Mr. Letterman would do I will start with number 10.

10. A silver plated pasta scoop. It was given to us as a wedding gift and we found later it was not exchangeable because it hadn't been sold in town for years at the store it was purchased at. It was one of those things that someone gave to someone who gave it to someone who gave it to us.

9. Sheets and towels inscribed with the hotel that they were stolen from. There is only one person in the world who would have nerve enough to do that!

8. One of those knitted sock things that is supposed to be a penis warmer.

7. Crystals. Because I consider myself a spiritual person over the years people have give me crystals. Now I give them as beautiful stones and it is pretty much a gift for a lady. Come on now, I am a redneck from Louisiana and you have nerve to give me crystals.

6. Mexican iron sconces. These were a wedding gift I hated. We hauled these to Florida where they sat in our attic in a box for two years. I had forgotten about them. One day I had to go up there for something, and in digging through the boxes saw them. Now if I had not thought about them in years……

In the dumpster they went.

And ya know that woman's intuition thing that gets men in so much trouble. That evening my wife mentioned them and asked if I would get them out of the attic over the weekend. The next day after she left for work I found the dumpster had been emptied. CRAP.

5. A book that was given to me at Christmas. It had a nice inscription in it except for the part where the person had to take a dig about some problems we were having at the time. She really had no real sense about anything except herself. She also gave me the number 1 item.

4. A thing that you attach your keys to and if you whistle it beeps. This is for people that lose their keys. I am a creature of habit. I can tell you where every item I own of importance is because it goes in the same place every day. I stuck it in the bottom of my wife's purse and had much fun with her and it for weeks.

3. A battery operated razor. I cannot use anything but a blade and the person that gave me the razor knew this??? WTF???

2. A speedo swimsuit. Enough said about that. Even me thinking of me in one makes me sick!

1. An earring made with a fresh water pearl. The rock was too big, gaudy, too heavy and the only man I have ever seen wear a pearl earring sold women's services for a living.

Now ok - it is the thought that counts… I agree.. But some of these demonstrate that some people just do not have that capability or just do not use it.

Ok How about your top 10 list.

I am sure that there will be more doozies but I have not run across them today…Stay tuned for the sequel.