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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : July 2006 : An Old Friend Returns.....

An Old Friend Returns.....

The people that delivered Bentley were some of the nicest people I have met in a long time. They drove 10 hours in a motor home to deliver him, stayed an hour and started back home for an anniversary party the next day.

I have never had an experience where I felt that someone was an old friend reincarnated. But I have now. One look in Bentleys eyes, and he reminded me of Chaos, a dog supposed to be Jezebels mate that died of cancer at 3 years of age. Jezebel is an average size Dane. Chaos and Bentley make her look like a Shitzu. He his huge. And he is broad and strong.

Chaos and I had a very special bond. I have loved all my dogs but the bond I had with Chaos was different. It was a quiet tie, more like a brother than a dog. Chaos was big and he was strong, and he knew it. That is what made him able to be so gentle. Chaos was confident. He was my big buddy. We shared so many of the same characteristics. For some reason though, Chaos did not like going outside at night, unless I accompanied him. Not afraid of the dark, but something out there, for in the dark of the house he often slept by himself in the den while I shared my bed with four other dogs.

Other dogs run to the fence and barked at anything. Like talking crap. I talk crap at times. Angry nonsense. Words spoken unmeant non-retractable. And they have cost me dearly. Some men talk crap before fighting - like dogs barking at a fence.

Chaos did not have to prove he was able to protect the property. He stood back and just looked quietly. He was confidant and menacing. When I am quiet and looking you in the eye I am most dangerous. Chaos and I were the same.

I noticed a lot of the similarities the second Bentley emerged. His stature, his calmness… He did not run bouncing up to me. Quietly he stepped out of the motor home and slowly approached me staring me in the eye. He let me pet him for a second and then moved on to explore the yard, it was on his terms.

But what really shook me was something he did after the breeder had left. I kicked off my shoes and this huge dog came and lay at my feet and began nibbling at my toes, like baby dog bites. I was in shock.

No dog had ever done that except one. Chaos had done the same thing, I called the breeder on their cell and asked her if she had any experience with Bentley nibbling on someone's toes. She laughed thinking it a joke. I explained what he did and told her it was important to me to know if he had ever done that before.

She was supposed to call the original owners and let them know how things went. She would ask them. Later that night she called and affirmed that he had never done anything like that before.

The more time I spend with Bentley the more he is Chaos. To the point that often I call him Chaos by mistake. It is eerie. And in some ways I am happy. But still the sadness looms that Chaos did die so young and for such a stupid reason.

There was no problem integrating him in. The few spats that we have had were simply each teaching the other the ways around here - each showing the others their boundaries. The one time Bentley really bared his teeth, he was ominously frightening, even to me. I would not want to feel that bite in anger.

Then Sunday night something unexplainable happened. Something odd, something quirky and something that even more makes me wonder if Bentley in fact - is Chaos reborn.

Jezebel in her old age, sometimes is stubborn about going out at night. So I have to take her out. Sunday she pulled that. Sera ran into the yard, Bentley was 10 feet in front of Jez and I. Without warning Bentley was airborne scared to death and the noise was loud and panicked. He had stepped on Cicada. Anyone who has knows how loud they can be. From that moment on Bentley has not gone out alone at night. He refuses to. And when he does, at the exact spot he stepped on the Cicada he is wary and very cautious. Even with me next to him.

Bentley seems more and more like Chaos.

Bentley also has done something I have been unable to.

Teach Sera some manners…

You know how it is with those stubborn women!

Bentley is beautifully perfect. Chaos was. In a way I wish he were not so much like Chaos because it does bring sadness at the stupid way Chaos died.

I wish he were more of another personality because I fear losing the images and memories of Chaos.

But in a way, it is like having an old friend back.

One dog has never made me think, and feel, and wonder so much. I am sure there will be many more stories to share over time. For now, trying to get the correct name is the next step.

And it has not come to me.

My heart is confused..