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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : August 2006 : Much Ado About Nothing....
Much Ado About Nothing....
I have had to fight all the days of my life
Trying to steal a chance at life..
Sometimes whole poems come to me. Sometimes it is simply one line like the one above. Sometimes nothing comes. I am not one that can turn off and on my ability to write. I have to feel it. Sure I can and have made up a story and in fact posted it here. Many took it as another honest event in my life. In the end I felt it deceitful in a way. It was easy to do, but there was little satisfaction in it for me.
I wrote a book back in 1979. It was an autobiography that I shared with only a few people that were close to me. And instead of seeing the meaning, the point that was embedded - they were distracted and saddened by the events of my life. Two out of three cried. I decided that it was not worthy. I have always said that I would sit down one day and rewrite it. But…. I guess my attention span has shortened, or I have gotten too lazy, or I am simply not motivated, or one of another thousand excuses.
On another note, today I cleaned out the bird boxes. I was curious to see why Blue and Teal had used a different box each time they laid eggs. Last year they used the same box. Sadly the third box they used had the same outcome as the third clutch she laid last year. Three hard boiled eggs. The heat has not let up, and we continue with triple digits day after day after day with no relief and no rain in site. I thought it could not get worse than last summer, but it has. Today it was 104 in the shade. Makes for a nice tan, but….
I knew before I opened the third box what I would find. She had quit going into the box a week ago. I gave it plenty of time to make sure I did not prematurely disturb anything. I thought I would find a dead chick in the second box they used. I figured that was why they changed boxes, but it was fine except for the amount of crap that was there. Four babies can poop more than the parents can excavate. Same thing with the first box.
I wonder if Teal was switching boxes as the sun switched position, trying to utilize the one which had the least afternoon sun? Instinct or thought? Birds think. I never would have said that before but having watched them daily for two years I am sure of it.
And they communicate. Two short whistles from Blue and all the babies and Teal will take cover immediately. It happened today and I scanned the trees hoping to see a hawk. I did see one but this one was circling high overhead looking for an opportunity. There are times that Blue will come and sit ten feet from me and bitch. An irate tone, and repeatedly over and over telling me to get on with the mealworms. And there are times we talk to each other. Sometimes he will sit and softly whistle. I will mimic as best I can what he does, and he responds. We have done this for 20 minutes at a time. I sure hope he understands what I am saying… I don't. Maybe he is calling me a stupid SOB and in my response I am too?
Today the news of the arrests in Britain started my day off with sadness. Boy I am glad the British Secret Service is on top of things. And you know I hate the thought of all the death that could have happened. But in one way I have to give those terrorist credit. They are committed and totally ready to die for what they believe in. Sadly what does not make them honorable is they care not that they are killing innocent people as well. I respected the monks who would set themselves ablaze making a statement for what they believed in. No innocents were hurt and the point was made. Even today I can still see them.
What are you so committed to that you would be ready to die for? The terrorists have passion and commitment in their lives. Something few other cultures do. Would you really never deny your god if faced with the option of doing it or dying? Is there anything you are so passionate about that you would die for it?
And as I sat and listened to CNN, I wondered if this will end up as World War III? Will Iran or Syria step in? will it escalate? Will we end up in a war based on religious beliefs? The Muslims against the rest of the world? Sure not many Muslims support the works of the terrorists, but they are furious when innocent Muslims are killed. Their reaction a thousand fold stronger than when Americans died at the twin towers. It could escalate… Israel could/would attack Iran or Syria if they could prove without a doubt that missiles killing their civilians were supplied by either of those countries. And America is already in two countries in the middle east in wars…
It makes me think of the first 45 record I ever bought.
violence flarin', bullets loadin',
you're old enough to kill but not for votin',
you don't believe in war, but what's that gun you're totin',
and even the Jordan river has bodies floatin',
but you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction."
In many ways all of us have fought every day of our lives. Some of us harder than others. Some alone and some with support of loved ones. We all struggle.
Blue and Teal have had 7 babies in two clutches this summer. It has aged them both, I can see it. Still they are committed to and struggle to teach, to feed, and to protect. I have seen Blue put himself between a hawk and one of his young. Thought or instinct? They do it without question, sick leave or vacation. No baby sitters or nights out.
The extremists full of hatred that we call terrorists are soldiers in their minds. They are passionate and committed. I may not agree with their methods or their outcomes, but their dedication is indisputable.
And the effort of you and me, nature and the birds, and the terrorists, is to simply have the type of life we believe is correct.
We all struggle. What if we are the true villains? We are to nature. We have destroyed much of the beauty of the world, and species are extinct because of man. Maybe it is our time for extinction.
If so I hope the birds and animals survive and reclaim what is and was always theirs.