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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : August 2006 : Dear One..

Dear One..

Dear One,

I trimmed the roses today. Each year sadness and hope fills my heart as I toil. Around me, the ugly noise of a thousand songless birds, of Grackles and Red Winged Black Birds that chose today to flock and feed. Not the beautiful songs of the Pine Warbler or Chickadee but a chattering of loud scavengers scavenging.

Gently I trimmed out the brown dead flowers that had lived and died on the end of green stems. Around the base the oak leaves and pine straw was removed and replaced with the blue crystals of rose food. Dead wood was removed and a prayer was repeated as it is each year.

I grow the roses awaiting your entrance into my life. I dream of a day where I can cut them and adorn your smile with the love of a heart grown rose. I can feel your hand in mine, smell your scent, and taste your soul - will I ever get to hold you near as the bud does the petals or is this just the folly of a foolish old man?

Somewhere out there you are wondering why I have not come? I am here, but here without you is, a million miles away. I have searched the face of everyone that passes, hoping to see eyes that lock onto mine and a union recognized that has survived many lives over the centuries. I love you now as I did a thousand years ago and will forever. I love you today more than each and everyday before.

Is it greed to hope to again dance the dance with you? This life flashes by, and I plead for time, but time is not one to stand still while a heart searches. The flesh wrinkles and gets ugly with age, so unfairly to the ageless love contained within. Why cannot I find you in each lifetime, but want you during all of time? Is this life to pass without a moment?

That is all I ask, one moment.

One moment, where I hand you a rose, and your hand closes over mine as you draw both towards you. As you savor the fragrance, as you inhale, your eyes look into mine and I am touched deeper than I ever have been by the love, that you inspire and give. I am warmed and alive, closer to god and heaven - in that silence so much is said.

Embrace me, embrace the rose, embrace love.. I wait, and prey against time, that I will see you within the breaths of this life. This a gift of god - a love this intense; yet a lonely course unshared.

Come to me, in the early spring when the first bud rises out of the warmth of the leaves that conceived it. Be here to take the petal from my hands, and cover my mouth with yours, and leave me not forever again.

This I pray, hopefully to never pray again.