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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : October 2006 : Ashamedly saying hi....

Ashamedly saying hi....

It is a chore…

To simply turn on my computer these days. To force myself to shop. To spend anytime with the birds. To take care of the yard.. You see I have been way to busy
Sleeping my life away.

Of all the problems in my life.. Of all the paths traveled this is the most difficult one I have walked. It is something I have never liked, never been used to and never done before, but I think I have given up. On everything, meaning most of all myself.

I digress physically as a result of the lack of exercise. I digress mentally, ashamed of what I see in the mirror these days. I pray for god to intervene one more time in this fools life, to just take me back to the days where it was worth not wasting my life away. In many ways I have become what I detested the most. Someone along for the ride instead of someone passionately living their life. Someone wasting air instead of giving. Someone dour and sad, maybe even bitter, unable to even relate back to those days when I found so much to the thankful for..

All of that is still there. It is I that have gone.

I miss so much that I was. How did I lose it? Where did it go?

How does one regain their inspiration?