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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : November 2006 : What If I Won The Lottery????

What If I Won The Lottery????

Ok…

Some of us chase the dream of winning the lottery. I mean when the Powerball hits 200 million or something crazy like that, I invest a few bucks..

In fact I have already spent the money….

Half of what I receive would go into a trust fund… The other half I would use to start a hospice Center for animals. The trust fund would provide recurring income for the hospice and hopefully with donations ensure its survival long past my days.

An animal dying is so very hard on those that love them. It is like losing a child, and it can be so very hard. Especially if it were in ones home dying slowly.

I had Destiny here when her time came. She was old. Arthritis was her main problem besides being old. Of course she started to decline late one Friday night when there were no vets available. But I have meds here for pain for animals, and I made sure she felt no pain. Saturday she refused to even try to get up anymore. I had a queen size mattress on the floor in the den, and sheets covering it. When she messed, well I did my best to clean it up. The sheets would be changed, but there was little I could do about the sopped up urine.

Still she would lift her head and wag her tail at me. Weakly, but she would .. . because she knew I needed that to go on. I knew she was dying. I just did not know when. I slept next to her on the floor that night.

Sunday Morning she was still alive. But she never opened her eyes again. It was as if she were sleeping. I spent the day in vigil watching, petting, talking to her.. My heart was breaking every second. There was no signs of pain, no crying, no yelping, no anything.

Sunday night I went in to get my ride schedule faxed to the van company that provides my transportation. I was gone no more than five minutes. When I returned to the den, one look, and I knew it. She was gone. I don't remember how, but I got her body loaded into a cart and set her on the patio wrapped in a comforter. Then somehow I managed to get that mattress all the way to the curb in the dark of night without falling. I sobbed all the way.

The vet was scheduled to come out Monday and put her to sleep if she was still alive. Monday I cancelled that. Then set about burying her. In my condition I cannot dig quickly in this clay so I always tend to stay one grave a head when time is near. Jezebel's hole has been dug and refilled. It will be fast to open and close it when her day comes.

Jezebel is nearing Destiny's age. In a month she will be 12. So very old for a Dane. I am grateful for the extra years I have had with each of them.. Jezebel unlike Destiny has no arthritic problems. She is still able to run and play and bark and act like a much younger dog. She is the matron now who has seen so many dogs come and go, so many tears flow. I think probably her heart will give out one day. She is and always has been a bit hyper.

I can attest to how hard it is to have an animal die at home.

The hospice would be a place where a family could bring their animals, and come and see them, talk to them, love them, without having to center the whole family on a deathwatch be it days or weeks. They could go back to living in between. I do not know what a prolonged degradation and slow death would do to the psyche of anyone, much less a child. So this is what I would do with my money.

What would you spend the money on??