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DaRk AnGel : Why Home : November 2006 : Angels.... Dark Angels... Timmy

Angels.... Dark Angels... Timmy

Before you read this. I do not follow any organized religious beliefs or mantras. I have read the bible several times, cover to cover. I have studied all of the worlds major religions and some of the lesser known ones. In the end, I developed my own concept of what the creator and controller of all this is. I have experienced my diety in my own life, heard his voice, and been through three events where my world changed in a second. So what follows are my beliefs and feelings.

I want you to, if you decide to read this, to follow something my sister told me was an old A.A. adage. "Take what you can use and leave the rest." And if none of this is of any value to you, I respect you and your beliefs.

I have always felt that angels and fairies were the same thing, just defined differently by different cultures. I love angels; my house is full of prints, statues, and all the usual symbols that we have come to associate with seraphs. (take away the phs and you have the source of Sera's name).

I learned long ago that angels are all around us. And they are not mythical. They are as real as you or I. They do not have wings, often are not beautiful and glowing, and usually are dressed. They are the strangers that come from no where to help us in our times of need, large or small, perceived or not.

Last Friday the van arrived really early to take me to Wal Mart. And because of that I had over an hour to wait for my scheduled return ride. I was standing outside smoking and watching the people come and go. I had been standing out there for a while when a man a little older than me approached me and my two carts of groceries.

"You still here? You got someone coming to get you" he asked. "If not I have time and a pick up and I can carry you and your groceries home. You've been standing out here for quite a while now."

Was it coincidence? Not at all. He was sent, inspired from something within him that said, GO OFFER THAT MAN A RIDE. A feeling, A direction, an urge that was unresistable. It was a small thing in the scope of life that he offered, a ride home, but still it was unexpected help from a perfect stranger. I thanked him and told him that my ride was coming. I watched as he walked away pushing his cart and my heart smiled.

There was a car that burst into flames on the interstate a couple of weeks ago. The driver got it stopped, and was having trouble getting his seat belt off. The fire was engulfing him and the car. In reached some hands and a knife, cutting the belt and assisting the man out of the car. The driver was burned over 40 percent of his body. The Samaritan had third degree burns on his arms and hands. Happenstance or meant to be? Usually the angel just reacts to a feeling, something within that is overpowering, and in cases like this so overpowering they risk their lives. Had it not been that man, at that place and time, the driver of the car on fire would surely have died.

I do believe that there are good spirits around us that we cannot see. I do believe though that most angels are mortals. And they are there where they are supposed to be doing what they do, to cause change in lives.

Maybe the man driving the car that burst into flames was someone who would never go out of his way to help another? This experience could be a lesson for him to absorb and change. God wants us to change - to give more than we take - to love more than we hate - to be peaceful of spirit and full of laughter and joy. And as long as we are not, he provides catalysts to teach us and to cause change. All we have to do is to listen, to hear, to understand, and hardest of them all - obey.

Ever meet Murphy? The man that nothing ever goes right for? He is the poor soul that never finds the peace within. He is the soul that people watch and shake their heads at wondering how life could be so cruel, or maybe how he could be so dumb. One thing after another befalls him, large and small. There are a lot of murphy's in the world. Those that will never have their place, their love, their dreams materialize. Are these sad sacks just unfortunate?

I believe not. I believe they are Dark Angels. They are solely here to change peoples lives by example. Or by the relationships that occur with people in their lives. Dark is not evil in this sense, it is more that their life is spent in confusion and darkness as to why so much happens to them. They are tools of god. Messengers of one sort or another, who by their actions and interactions with others are bringing messages from the gods of ones understanding. And they suffer through life with themselves and others wondering why? WHY? Why me? Why him? Why her?

Their rewards with be ten fold in heaven. For they are an angel of sacrifice.

In my youth when I was real anti god.. I would challenge anyone with "If your god is so merciful, why are babies still born, born deformed, born only to die within the first year of life." And of course no one knows the answer to this. It was a good defense.

My offense was always a good defense.

But why? Why do the innocent suffer? Why do the good really die young? Why do so many bad things happen? Just to cause suffering?

No, I believe they occur to cause change. The events of their lives, no matter how short or long, are meant to cause one person or many to grow closer to the path that god wants them on. And that person may not be the parent of the still born child. It could be a nurse in the delivery room or the mortician that prepares the body for burial. Everything happens for a reason. Each tragic death occurs to an angel.

Timmy was a friend of mine in 1979. He was a car mechanic, had a wife and a young son that he loved dearly. Always he would talk about his wife and child. He lived for them. Timmy was a good church going man. He was funny, he was always compassionate to everyone he met. He was everything I had ever wanted to be.

I was running a T-shirt shop in those days. And Timmy had stopped off at the bar next door. I was waiting for the Florida torrent to cease before I walked the four blocks home. We played a game of pool and shared a pitcher of beer. When Timmy was about to leave, he turned and asked if I needed a ride home. I told him no, I could make it. He smiled and put his arm around my shoulder and guided me out of the door, and into his car. It was just the way he was.

Right next to the bar was a street with a light. We had green and we proceeded through the light but never made it to the other side. We were broadsided by someone at an incredible speed. The impact pushed me over into Timmy, and sent his car off at a 45 degree angle. It did not stop until the other car had pushed us into a telephone pole.

Timmy was killed instantly. His blood was all over me. His wounds were terrible, his face was totally caved in, his skull open with brain exposed. Thank god he died instantly.

I had a broken rib, and had to crawl into the back seat, and out the driver's side of the car. It was the only door that was undamaged. I had a gun on my person and I was angry; Furious. I head the sirens coming. I went to the other car and pulled the gun, and aimed it at the slumped over driver.

Then I could hear Timmy's voice. "what the hell are you doing man, put that thing away." Timmy was dead. But Timmy was still watching over me.

That night changed my life in so many ways - All of them good. Ways that I would have never changed had not something that drastic occurred. And it took many many years before I could reflect back upon that night and see it. Timmy did not die for nothing. He died and everyone in his life that loved him changed.

I, of course, drank myself into stupidity for the next six months or so. If he was not giving me a ride he would have gone the other way. I felt so guilty that anyone should die doing me a favor. For being nice. And that is when I really tried to find reason for why these things happen. In the end I came to the understanding that angels were tools of god. Timmy was an angel.

If you doubt my theories, next time you see someone sacrifice their life to try and save a stranger from injury or death, question why it was that particular person there. Most people are too wrapped up in their own worlds and fears to be that giving. If it were anyone else, they probably would not intercede, but god wanted that life spared. And why is it so rare that someone would risk their lives for someone they never met or knew? Because it is not a human trait. It is a gift given to the savior at the time of the incident. As in a mother that lifts a car off of a trapped child. An irresistible power inside forcing the person to act without thought or concern for their own safety. Heck even the guy that offered me a ride at Wal-Mart was putting his life in danger.

An angel is driven in an unplanned event that save others lives -

or offer a crippled old guy with groceries a ride home.